My grandson, Christian, was suspended from kindergarten. He was 5 years old. His crime? He pointed his umbrella at a classmate and said, "I am going to kill you." He got three days at home.
I spent a good part of my childhood with a pair of six shooters strapped to my hip shooting up my classmates and they quite avidly fired back at me. It seemed like harmless fun in a time when television was filled with cowboy shows. We received guns for Christmas and our birthdays and ran around the neighborhood killing each other. It was great.
It has been 40 years since I graduated from high school and I have never killed anyone nor has any of my classmates. Viet Nam veterans don't count. The government made them do it.
This is the biggest change I have seen between the generations. It doesn't make a lot of sense.
We punish children for their immaturity. They are supposed to be immature. They are kids.
I am afraid to hug my students and when they try to hug me I usually back away. I don't drive them home from school or allow them into my classroom by themselves. I always keep my door open. Teachers today are afraid and they never were before. I know there have been incidents widely publicized of teachers having relations with students. It happens. It may be rare but all of us suffer from the suspicions of the public.
Sex between consenting teens can put the boy on the sex registry for life. Or in prison. Imagine going to prison for what we once thought was some Saturday night fun in the back seat of the Chevy.
I am not naive about life. I know that bad things happen. I grew up Roman Catholic and I never imagined that the good priests of my youth could have been guilty of what they were later accused of. I admit I was shocked.
Are we over- protecting this generation of children? Or are we over-reacting to the experimentation and excuberance of our youth? It seems that we are constantly looking over our shoulders.
One of the male teachers at my school told me recently that when his female students lean over his desk he isn't sure where to put his eyes. Our students wear uniforms but some of the girls leave top buttons undone, wear tight shirts, or are simply just 'large'.
There are a lot of reasons that teachers leave the profession - nearly 50% in the first five years of teaching. But I believe that one reason is the constant fear of liability. Most of us are simply trying to be good teachers but the fear of a lawsuit can stop us in our tracks.
I saw all of this mentioned only fleetingly in the articles I read in this weeks articles. But I think it is important.
Slightly off topic, but I think the biggest difference in learning is not generational but relates to gender. Boys learn differently than girls. Last year when our staff convened to discuss the coming year I suggested dividing our classrooms by gender. Almost all of the teachers thought this was a great idea. My principal did too but it was never implemented. This spring I am going to bring it up again. I think the boys are more active and need more movement and hands-on learning. In middle school same sex classrooms could be more focused without the distractions. Many schools across the country are doing this - Atlanta Public Schools is one. It has proven successful.
6 comments:
Well done again Marge.
Once one of my male colleagues informed me that when he was in the lunchroom that he hugged a girl who happened to be in a mean and malicious mood. Well, he said that while in the midst of this innocent hug another colleague got on the mic and told him to stop hugging on those girls. He was so upset (as he very well should have been). The ironic thing is that before he told me of her response, I was already advising him to be careful about hugging the older girls. I felt like a hypocrite for advising him not to hug, because I absolutely hug all of my students and everyone else’s. However, I do draw the line when it comes to the upper grades. For the bigger boys...I usually reserve my hugs for the ones that are upset. I just don't usually give random hugs to the bigger boys. Unfortunately, there is a double standard here and the stigma is much worse on the male teachers than female. Contrarily, if I were the mother of the child that he was hugging...well I just do not think I would appreciate that at all.
On the other hand Marge I wouldn't normally preach, but you mentioned that you were a Believer. However, you admitted that you were afraid to hug the students, drive them home, and speak to them privately. I understand your viewpoint totally, but if you see a student in some sort of distress, would you really let fear keep you from the calling that God has bestowed upon you? I mean don't get me wrong...I definitely feel this apprehension at times as well. We both must remember:
Deuteronomy 1:17
'You shall not show partiality in judgment ; you shall hear the small and the great alike. You shall not fear man, for the judgment is God’s. The case that is too hard for you, you shall bring to me, and I will hear it.'
It is a shame that we need to second guess all of our actions and think of how we should COA before me act. What makes it worse is the fact that most of our students have phones that records sounds and images that can be misconstrued.
I'm sorry to hear that your grandson was suspended for being a kid. Do you think our society over reacts? Do we over protect our kids or do we need to protect them because of the crime and violence all around us?
TTFN
Hey Marge,
Your posts read like a novel and are easy to understand. Your insights into the era of CYA (cover you ass) has taken a great deal out of the need for nuturing many of our students. Hugging, consoling and just plain empathy, can and has gotten some teachers in trouble. I myself use these techniques judiciously and albeit with extreme frugality. The recent case in Michigan, where a district suspended a group of boys for their online antics on Youtube, goes to show just how far CYA has come.
Just a small note on your "Off topic" subject of segregation of the sexes. I am willing to bet you could learn a great deal by offering separate blogs for either sex, in an online experiment.
Brad.
Your comment about the "biggest difference in learning is gender and not generation," sparked my attention. Are you implying that males and females learn differently? This takes us to a whole level of research that needs to tapped into a lot more. I would tend to think that boys and girls learn the same they just "react" differently to what they are taught. hummmm... Something to think about Marge.
Boys and girls do learn differently and there is a huge body of research supporting it. Girls tend to be more cooperative learners and boys are more competitive learners. When the distraction of the opposite sex, especially in middle school and high school, is removed, the real learning and interaction occur. Single sex education gives girls the chance to be competitive without worrying about offending male egos and allows boys to explore other intellectual and emotional aspects of themselves without having to fit a "male" stereotype. This is a simplified explanation,but single sex schools have been proven very effective and there are many public schools that have implemented it in some ways, even as simply as teaching the four core courses separately. I noticed the other day at school what a difference it made in our teaching environment when all the boys were called out to a meeting. The girl students themselves even remarked on how diferent it seemed!
Koferandes,
That is very interesting stuff, and I agree it is often a nice feeling with the younger students separated also. Mostly, we chat when they host a Boy or Girl Scout meeting. My best friend attended an all-male high school and he rebelled at first, but he admits that he loves it. He turned out very well, but I am a still a skeptic of separation tactics based on race, sex, or religion etc. Eventually, we all have to work, live, or go to school together. I wonder if there have been some follow-up research done on the adults?
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